Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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