no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
