Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
wow bdsm is so cute
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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