He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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