she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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