i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
