Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You took a bar mat shot.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
