Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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