I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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