he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
