Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize
