So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
