Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
