nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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