I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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