Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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