awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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