Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
