I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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