you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
