if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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