dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
