Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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