so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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