My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
