so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
