No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
