We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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