he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
