Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
