Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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