You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
