I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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