Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
