Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
