isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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