I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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