I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
