I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
