we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
