ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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