I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
