we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
