haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
