Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
