I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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