just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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