I'm really into asian looking animals
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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