Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
