She said her name was "party"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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